Part 4: Services Rendered - Section III

I'm outraged over Oz's careless service now, but at the time (within the first three days of ownership), I never noticed the clue looking back at me in the progress photo Oz provided. I honestly thought the problem in the breath tube developed after Oz shipped it; that there was no way he could have missed it, or would dare ignore such a flaw. Despite all the problems with the hood, the suit (who's own flaws I was not yet fully aware of), turned out much better. It was the more expensive and desired item, and it was for the most part everything I had hoped. This put my overall satisfaction with my total order at about 70% "figuratively". This, coupled with the thrill of the moment, was enough to persuade me into considering a second order with Squeak Latex. Rather than a deterrent, I figured I should make up my mind quick when considering production time.

Lastly, there where many other designs from Squeak Latex I would have loved to possess. It was nothing to do with loyalty or blind enthusiasm, but simply supply for my demand. While I have the means, I would never object to the opportunity of purchasing another inflatable suit "if someone could provide", and Oz's doors where presumably still open to me. With the assurance in mind that I could at least expect quality where it counts, I made the decision to begin a second order. I sent my next request briskly —within three days of receiving my first order— while the communication between us was still fresh. It include an enticing title to snare his attention...

Obviously, I lied about the fit of the hood, as well as the other immediate defects I was dissatisfied with. There's no benefit in me breaking the allusion that everything Oz sends is a "dream come true". It's not as though I could ask to send it back for return or repair. I was afraid to even hint at any issue, for fear of Oz rejecting further orders. There really is no point in mentioning problems with the first order if I'm trying to place a second.

Honestly, it was not careful practice on my part to apply for a second order so soon. After only three days, I couldn't know all the problems and flaws I've come to discover. I should have waited a couple of weeks at least, and taken the time to fully examine the items closely. Yet I figured repetition may still pay some dividends. Perhaps "I thought", if I become a regular customer, I could build trust and partnership with Oz, as a client. Maybe enough to become one of his favorites, for whom he would give closer attention and more prompt service. Meanwhile, I could potentially build a collection of my favorite designs of his, with ease.

Oz did reply to my new request two days later, and is response was encouraging...

I was very pleased in being welcome to a second order; that Oz was not too backed up with others, and that I had done nothing notorious, on which basis Oz would deny me However, I found Oz's welcoming of conversation through our business correspondence surprising. Don't misunderstand; I'm not a prude. I would have loved to talk casually with an inflatable suit maker "particularly one whom I've looked up to for so long". There's plenty I would have wished to say or ask of him. I might have practically interviewed Oz through email, if I thought such was welcome. However, by my recollection of his delays to respond even to vital matters, I was never given to the impression that ANY irrelevant conversation could be welcome. I thought he must have been far too occupied running his business. I even made that understanding crystal clear in my new message to him, as a subtle admission and apology of my "condolences". This latest message would not have been so long and personal as it was, had I not feared it the last email I would ever send Oz.

Also, by my experience thus far, I found Oz's welcome for me to "express" (as he put it), not only impractical but, frankly, unbelievable. If that where true, why didn't he even acknowledge the love I gave to his design of the Big Blowup Suit, when I placed the order for it? Yes, it was after a particularly sour complaint, and before I had sent him any money. But still, not even a thanks? I even gave him a second opportunity in this last email. Oz could have acknowledged; "Yah, that's one that doesn't get much attention. I'm glad you like it so much.". It's sad to understand that, apparently, I love the design more than the person who actually created it. Maybe because it was one of his designs plagiarized by Latex Catfish. Yet that I still bought it from him should triple my complement in his eyes. If forgoing a massive discount to buy the Big Blowup Suit from Oz first dose not convey the profound extent of my support of him as it's original creator, and gratitude for his conceiving it, I haven't the foggiest what will.

Nevertheless, since he offered, I gave it a try. I explained and express why I was so happy at his return to business. I did feel somewhat guilty in doing so... Have you, dear reader, ever approached the counter of a small shop with your selection, only to have your purchase delayed by some asshole chatting with the cashier, as though they are the only two people in the store? I felt like one such asshole to oblige Oz's offer. Considering Oz's performance record, I don't feel comfortable in taking up any more of his time than what necessity dictates. Not only for his convenience, but for that of fellow clients, of whom I am well aware do exist. I wondered; How could Oz possibly have the time to chat on duty when he's missing his deadlines? Yet I could also wonder; Is this why my order was so grossly delayed? Because he's "chatting" on the job? ...I knew I would have to ready myself for another long wait. Even at the time, I found his promise to forbear further shipping delays laughable.

Regarding my next order with Oz; even 'till this last minuet before I sent my next message, I agonized over the options, for what the next suit should be. After much careful contemplation, I narrowed the choice down to two top contenders...

I was torn between the "Huge Blowup Suit" (also called the "Huge X Suit"), and the "Michelin Suit" (now called the "Tire Suit "). While the X Suit is bigger than I would prefer, it's still one of the more iconic Squeak designs, which I had also admired for so long. Exclusive too, in fact; I will admit, I don't know of any other suit maker (still operating), who offers a design terribly similar. On the other hand was the Michelin Suit, which was smaller, and who's design I had never given much attention to until recently. The biggest drawback to this suit was it's complication. While the Huge X Suit is aptly named, it's design is still fairly simple, and easy to undertake. The Michelin Suit, in it's difficulty to assemble, I feared may give rise to further problems and greater flaws. I should have gone with the X Suit to be safe, but in the end, I was swayed to the Michelin Suit by a major factor.

At the time, I was still upset over my other order (the overfilled puffy snow suit from Russia), lost to war. Since I had taken a liking to that puffy, pillowy, segmented style, I found the Michelin suit more appealing than ever before. Once my snow suit had fallen through, I looked to the Michelin Suit as a "sort of " replacement, or second chance. I did consider the fact that an inflatable rubber suit is not the same, and certainly would not feel the same, as a heavy, stuffed vinyl one. Yet, considering it was a custom design, I figured I could give Oz's custom service a try and make some favorable adjustments, for another "perfect " suit. Not to mention, I still had the idea in mind that Oz preferred custom orders, and he would love to make something for that he could show off. With that, my mind was made up. The Michelin Suit would be my second, and if I ever bought a third, the Huge X Suit would come next in my order of precedence.

Also, I enquired about the "Inflatable Underwear", as another secondary item to possibly tack onto the order. Another design I was fond of. Though, considering my disappointment with the shape of the hood, I feared a similar experience would occur. I reckoned I would drop it anyway, as this next suit would be more expensive than the last...

It was difficult to discus the novelty of the Big Blowup Suit without mentioning it's design. After all, this was my third suit. They'll always be special, but it's nothing new to me anymore. The best I could say was how fun it is to blow up under clothing "as if I had never tried that with my first suit". Oz replyed soon that same day...

By way of conversation, there was little I said which Oz could relate. Though, my mentioning inflating suits under clothing coaxed an interesting disclosure. Oz's idea to create "overlays" for his suits is a brilliant stroke of intuition. I imagine these overlays would be oversized zentai suits, much like the ones he uses in videos. Particularly on his "blowupboy" YouTube channel. That's exactly what I'm hunting for at this time. It's a cheep and easy way to convert an inflatable suit into a pressure suit without thicker latex, and add patterns without costly custom craftsmanship. That Oz would make and sell zentai suits dedicated to this specific purpose means one would not have to order them custom made from else ware and guess at the proper size measurements to fit over their suit. It really is a smart move addition to his selection. After all, I want to do it because I've seen Oz do it. During my first order, I even considered asking Oz where he gets his zentai from. Sadly, if these overlays ever come to fruition, I don't think Oz will be selling me one after this.

At my request for the Michelin Suit, it made me happy to hear him express interest in building another, as well as upgrading the design. It reinforced my earlier understanding; that Oz prefers to produce unique suits which he may showcase. Besides that, I liked all the ideas he suggested to me. I could not think of a reply that same day, given the extent of possibility. By the next day, I knew I would need a little more time. It was Saturday anyway, and I knew Oz would not reply 'til Monday. In case Oz was listening, I sent him a courtesy email, letting him know to expect an answer on Monday, because "unlike him", I don't care to leave people in the dark...

My ultimate intention was to commission a suit which me and Oz would both be proud of. Something I would live and Oz would enjoy to create. I remember that Saturday, into Sunday; putting great effort towards a rough plan. I sent Oz all my thoughts on Monday, as promised. It was a massive email, which is worth skipping. Read it if you wish, but to sum it up; I wanted the suit to bear a closer physical resemblance to the actual mascot, using the Michelin Man himself as a reference, while focusing on many individual aspects at length. I also wrote back to Oz in a jovial manor "here and there", to convey my own interest in what was "I thought ", a request more to his liking...

Though the message I sent might have been intimidating, not one idea I put forth was a demand: only requests, for Oz to consider. I made that clear in closing; that my plan was not set in stone and I was prepared to yield on any or all of my suggestions. Nor could I have afforded all I had in mind, knowing Oz's pricing. The inflatable underwear where certainly off the table, while I likely would have dropped the gloves and shoes. Though I would have loved to have a matching hood, I probably would have dropped that too, as hoods are clearly not a strength of Squeak Latex. I expected Oz would take his time to calculate the best course of action and cost estimation. In the meantime, I turned back to my new suit, with another plan.

I had purchased some Vivishine in advance of my suit's arrival. For a proper inauguration, I had it in mind to shine up my new gear, as bright and beautifully as the one from the video that started it all. It would be exactly as the dream suit I've always envisioned, finally come true. Before the shine may be applied, the layer of powder which the suit was shipped in must first be washed off. In preparation for this, I used an electric air pump to deflate the suit. I wanted to remove as much air as possible so the suit would better submerge under the water. I didn't anticipate any risk in draining the suit so completely, but in so flawed a suit, their was. By syphoning out so much air, nearly to the point of wrinkling the suit, I had inadvertently created a vacuum, in which no further particle of matter would leave the suit. Instead, it could only be drawn in by the negative pressure, if there should be an opening.

I tied the big valve off tightly with an uninflated sculpting balloon, to ensure a perfect seal. I double checked that the small valve cap was crewed tightly also, then submerged the suit in warm, clean water. I applied a natural, non-scented liquid soap and began to scrub with a brand new cotton bar rag. It takes a long time to scrub such a vast amount of latex thoroughly, but I persevered, exited to see a shined inflatable suit in person, and wear it myself. I did everything right, to ensure the suit would not come to harm. Yet when I was nearly done scrubbing, to my horror, I noticed this...

I dare Oz to put his logo on this picture...

A large wet spot had appeared under the latex of the suit's left shoulder. Water had entered the suit, between it's two layers. For those who may be unaware; moisture is dangerous to latex, as it will create mold and cause the rubber to discolor, rot, and otherwise hasten it's deterioration. It's not something to be scared of on a normal latex mask or catsuit, made of a single layer. Though monotonous on larger scales, it's safe and easy work to preserve one's gear if they know how to thoroughly dry it after washing, and properly store it when not in use. Yet, depending on the type of garment, manual drying is required to a certain degree. If it has prominent folds or flaps which may trap moisture, hinder the natural proses of evaporation, and make it's escape difficult. In such a case, those areas can still be reached, and dried by hand. In the case of my suit, an inflatable latex suit, if moisture becomes trapped within it's air chamber, it can not be reached, and will never escape on it's own. Such a problem is DEADLY to a suit like this.

At the moment of discovery, I can vividly remember freezing in fear to realize what it was, then throwing down the rag I was using to scrub. Obviously, I never got to shine it. I rinsed it off, hung it up, then ran around my home in a panic, trying to organize any idea of how to possibly save it. Eventually, I calmed down and properly assessed the situation. I conceded to the fact that the water was unreachable inside the suit. I couldn't fit my hand and towel through the valve to dry it off. Still, I considered that it was only water, which evaporates eventually. If that happened, I wouldn't have to reach it; it could flow out on it's own. With that understanding, I got an idea. I would speed up the process, long before any damage could occur.

I came up with a simple though "likewise", monotonous remedy. When the suit was dry enough, I laid it out and blew it up with the electric pump. At the same time, I tried to direct the airflow onto the wet spot in the shoulder, to blow it drying, hasten vaporization. The wet spot actually disappeared completely within only two sessions of this treatment. Though large in appearance, it was still only a tiny amount of water "perhaps a few drops worth", spread very thinly between the two layers of latex.

After that, for good measure, I repeated the proses of deflating and re-inflating the suit to flush the moisture out. I would blow the suit up taut, then use the pump's intake port as a reverse to quickly deflate it again. Every time, I would deflate the suit until it was shriveled; sucking out every last particle of air (and hopefully, the moisture with it). I repeated this proses ten times to be sure. At one point, I also purposefully overheated the electric pump by wrapping it in a blanket, so that it would blow warmer air into the suit and vaporize every bit of water. (Not recommend, at the risk of starting a fire, but a regular hair dryer might have been too hot for the latex to stand. I don't think warm air is necessary anyway, so long as one exercises patience.)

Crisis averted, I breathed a huge sigh of relief, and slept well that night. Call me materialistic, but I'm not sleeping while $1,500 is going up in flames. The following day, I checked the suit for leaks. I found that the wet spot was caused by a pin sized breach in the center of the cross-seam on the shoulder of the suit's inner layer.

This was not a hole in the sense of a "puncture" or other damage done to the suit, but rather a "gap" left in between the four pieces of latex where they all come together.

This was yet another flaw of poor craftsmanship, likely because someone did not roll and press this area sufficiently when they glued it together.

Of itself, it's a very insignificant, undetectable flaw, and easy to repair. Such a small, minute gap might have been negligible on a regular catsuit. It would have certainly been negligible on this suit, in terms of air escaping. The suit itself is so large, and the hole by contrast so tiny, one would never notice a leek. Not if they wore it, blown up, nonstop, for days. It would have been nothing to worry about, if only washing latex clothing was not a necessity.

Latex clothing is notorious for causing perspiration and accumulating filth. Anyone who wants to keep their gear clean and extend it's lifespan will wash it. Even if not for sweat, they will still want to wash their latex at least once in a while. Particularly if it's of a lighter color, to prevent the buildup of filth, which promotes discoloration. By this experience, I've come to the resolution that seam work is more important on an inflatable garment than any other article of latex. In fact, I would argue that the quality of seam work on an inflatable latex suit "that they are ensured to be 100% air-tight" is a requirement, and should be regarded as a standard. Not for the problem of air escaping, but at the fatal risk of introducing and trapping moisture, which will destroy the suit over time.

I don't know what Oz's quality control consists of, but for the prices he demands, I did expect him to go over the suit with a fine-toothed comb, and by that, I mean a bucket of soapy water and a sponge. Admittedly, I could not have foreseen such a problem before it happened to me, but Oz should already be aware. He's been building inflatable suits since before I even knew they existed. I can't believe he's not privy to this kind of problem, however unrealized it may be to most others. Of course, I understand how time consuming it would be to check every one of his suits for leaks; that he may not possibly be able to do it on his own. Nevertheless, if Oz wishes to employ sub-par production and still boast quality control, he doesn't have a choice. For the sake of his clients, it's just that important.

Despite the wholly unwanted emergency, I was still luckier than I might have been. The problem was easy to spot when the intrusive water caused the light red outer layer to cling to the darker black inner layer of the suit. I at least had the opportunity to deal with the problem, because I was so clearly alerted to it... What if I had gotten this suit made in all black? Before placing the order, I did considered forgoing my favorite color for black, because I think black latex feels and shines, and stretches better than any other color. With such a suit, I might have never realized there was a problem. The water would have gone undetected, remained trapped inside the suit and the whole thing would have likely gone to waist, soon before it's time. I just wonder, how many others before me have faced this same problem, yet never realized, or don't speak of it?

Before moving on, I wish to point out the full extent of this problem. This is the patch job I preformed on the left shoulder of the inner suit, after locating the point of leakage...

However, the previous photographs of the wet spot, as it occurred, is not of the left, but rather the right shoulder. The same problem occurred TWICE, in both shoulders of the suit. First in the right, then again in the left shoulder, afterwards, when I rallied the patience and courage to try and shine the suit a second time. Both cross sections of the suit's inner shoulders where possessed of the same flaw. Frustrating to say the least, albeit fortunate for the sake of this article, that it happened again. I was only able to take pictures of the second occurrence. By then, I was not apt to panic, because I had already discovered a cure. The same problem also happened to the hood, if you will believe me. There was a gap in between the outer latex of the "muzzle" and the breath tube. I neither took pictures of that, as I first washed the hood and suit simultaneously. I can tell you though, the hood looked as though it had a bloody nose. Out of that, I at least got a laugh for all the nonsense that night. I really do wish I had taken a picture of the hood to share with you. It looked just as I felt; punched in the face.

Even at this late and great stage of utter dissatisfaction, I was not prepared to completely withdraw from a second order with Oz. Though, I was left very ambivalent to place it. I knew my plans would definitely have to change. I couldn't trust Oz's production team with such a complicated, unfamiliar design which may abound in cross seams, but ALSO, I certainly couldn't trust Oz either, for his "quality control ". I can not overstate that the production team is not entirely to blame. They did well enough for the sum they are likely payed. As I said, they even impressed me in some aspects of construction, and no matter what, the person "or persons" in China who assembled my suit did a much better job than I could. Yet, mistakes where still inevitable and it was Oz's responsibility fix them "at least what he could find". Seeing as I was mistaken; that such is apparently MY job, the best option for me would have been to retract my custom suit request and instead settle for my second choice. That being the Huge X Suit; another "off the rack " suit of a simpler design. That was the only way I could keep a second order afloat, but I was no longer enticed as the first. I was not thrilled at the prospect of settling on a simpler design, for the sake of having less flaws to correct, in order to salvage a brand new and immodestly priced suit, once it arrives. It makes no sense, that I should be able to tell Oz on my next reply; "This suit is better now than when I got it". Of course, I wouldn't actually tell him that, but I would cancel my plans for a custom suit. upon his next response.

Yet that response never came...

I waited weeks, upon weeks, for a reply, but Oz once again was neglecting to send one. I supposed he could have been busy, but could never believe he missed it, considering it was preceded by my notice for him to expect my response after the weekend, AND our auspicious correspondence before that. There's no way, unless Oz only has the attention span of a fucking minnow. At this point, I suspected Oz was refusing to respond. I loathed to think that Oz hated my lengthy request so much that he would give me the cold shoulder, than just deny me openly. That he would rather ignore me than plainly refuse me. Whatever the reason might have been, I finally resolved to wait for whatever may come. I had no motivation left to hunt Oz down anymore. If he should never respond, then so be it; my business with him would be at it's end. Sure enough, to this day, Oz has never responded...